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BEFORE social & Digital media, guys were programmed to wait out the whole “3-Day Rule” before calling a girl after a date or after getting her phone #. Otherwise, they were perceived to look desperate. But today’s “Digital Society” has turned the dating world upside down, and a lot of these former dating rules are quickly changing. Now, if a guy waits 3 or 4 days to contact a girl after a date or getting her #… It may be too late!
- It’s now appropriate for a man to actually send a text the night OF the date after it’s over just to “Make sure she got home safe,” or the next day to let her know he had a great time & start up another conversation. In stark contrast to what the OLD dating rules used to call a move like this “desperate” or too eager, this kind of quick follow-up is not seen as “desperate” anymore – In fact more and more it’s actually desired by women.
- New forms of Digital Media like Texting, Picture-Messaging, and Video-Chatting have created a more COMPETITIVE dating scene as well, especially among the guys! They have given men and women new tools to help them keep the connection alive in-between dates, so guys who learn how to use these communication methods now have a leg-up over other people who aren’t so tech-savvy and don’t choose to use them or learn how. Now it’s the guys that still wait the whole “3-Day-Rule” and not much communication in-between that are ending up losing the girl to the guys who are texting in-between! Given that the trend in today’s dating world is for people to dating multiple people for a while before committing to one (it’s quite common these days for a girl to go on as many as 3 or 4 dates in one week), the power of the “connection” you have with someone is going to be a very strong determining factor as to whether you want to keep dating them or not.
- To elaborate a bit, Think about this scenario – Let’s say you’re a great guy and you had a date with Sara on Saturday; you had a great time and you made plans with her already for a 2nd date for this coming weekend. Since the date is already confirmed, you figure you’re in the clear and you just go about the rest of the week looking forward to the date and assume she’ll be doing the same, not feeling the need to communicate much else in-between then. But let’s say Sara had a date with another guy on Sunday night; her date also went great, but this guy had been keeping in touch with her all week long, exchanging flirty texts, getting into some funny conversations that made her laugh, maybe sending her a few picture messages that were thoughtful based on their conversations on the date or that were thought-provoking.
- Now this guy has been on her mind all week long and she is developing a strong bond with him, feeling a stronger connection with him and meanwhile she hasn’t heard from you at all. By the time she gets to your date on the weekend she’ll be feeling much closer to this other guy and will likely have lost a lot of the enthusiasm to see YOU! (This is one explanation why some girls may flake on a 2nd or 3rd date or suddenly try to reschedule). And all the while you’re scratching your head thinking “What the heck happened, I thought we had a connection?” having no idea that some other dude is beating you out of the running because he’s establishing a stronger connection to her in-between dates.
- So, those guys or gals who are taking advantage of texting, video and picture messaging are more likely to become the front-runners if a girl has other guys she’s dating, and these guys tend to be the ones that build the strongest connections with girls.
- Facebooking is also now a great way to not only keep in touch with friends, but to find dates and create relationships with new prospects. It’s getting more and more common now to spot a guy or girl that you find attractive on someone else’s friend list, and then add them as a friend and start communicating with them. It somehow seems safer or more comfortable starting a relationship up with someone if you feel like you know them through a connection, even if it’s a friend of a friend of a friend.
- So my advice to you guys (and gals) is to NOT ignore this whole phenomenon that is digital & social media or stubbornly refuse to “give in” to it (as I see many rebellious guys do…). Its here and its everywhere, so you might as well just accept it, and start learning how to use it and be proficient at it! Get a Smart-phone and practice getting crafty with your text-messages and picture-messaging, and learn how to use your camera and video-chat. Because the main message here seems to be “Get savvy, or get passed up!”
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