Category : Men’s Dating Portal

DeAnnas Dating Blog Men's Dating Portal

How Digital Media has affected Dating – And the NEW Rules to adopt

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BEFORE social & Digital media, guys were programmed to wait out the whole “3-Day Rule” before calling a girl after a date or after getting her phone #. Otherwise, they were perceived to look desperate. But today’s “Digital Society” has turned the dating world upside down, and a lot of these former dating rules are quickly changing. Now, if a guy waits 3 or 4 days to contact a girl after a date or getting her #… It may be too late!

  • It’s now appropriate for a man to actually send a text the night OF the date after it’s over just to “Make sure she got home safe,” or the next day to let her know he had a great time & start up another conversation. In stark contrast to what the OLD dating rules  used to call a move like this “desperate” or too eager, this kind of quick follow-up is not seen as “desperate” anymore – In fact more and more it’s actually desired by women.
  • New forms of Digital Media like Texting, Picture-Messaging, and Video-Chatting have created a more COMPETITIVE dating scene as well, especially among the guys! They have given men and women new tools to help them keep the connection alive in-between dates, so guys who learn how to use these communication methods now have a leg-up over other people who aren’t so tech-savvy and don’t choose to use them or learn how. Now it’s the guys that still wait the whole “3-Day-Rule” and not much communication in-between that are ending up losing the girl to the guys who are texting in-between! Given that the trend in today’s dating world is for people to dating multiple people for a while before committing to one (it’s quite common these days for a girl to go on as many as 3 or 4 dates in one week), the power of the “connection” you have with someone is going to be a very strong determining factor as to whether you want to keep dating them or not.
  • To elaborate a bit, Think about this scenario – Let’s say you’re a great guy and you had a date with Sara on Saturday; you had a great time and you made plans with her already for a 2nd date for this coming weekend. Since the date is already confirmed, you figure you’re in the clear and you just go about the rest of the week looking forward to the date and assume she’ll be doing the same, not feeling the need to communicate much else in-between then. But let’s say Sara had a date with another guy on Sunday night; her date also went great, but this guy had been keeping in touch with her all week long, exchanging flirty texts, getting into some funny conversations that made her laugh, maybe sending her a few picture messages that were thoughtful based on their conversations on the date or that were thought-provoking. 
  • Now this guy has been on her mind all week long and she is developing a strong bond with him, feeling a stronger connection with him and meanwhile she hasn’t heard from you at all. By the time she gets to your date on the weekend she’ll be feeling much closer to this other guy and will likely have lost a lot of the enthusiasm to see YOU! (This is one explanation why some girls may flake on a 2nd or 3rd date or suddenly try to reschedule). And all the while you’re scratching your head thinking “What the heck happened, I thought we had a connection?” having no idea that some other dude is beating you out of the running because he’s establishing a stronger connection to her in-between dates. 
  • So, those guys or gals who are taking advantage of texting, video and picture messaging are more likely to become the front-runners if a girl has other guys she’s dating, and these guys tend to be the ones that build the strongest connections with girls.
  • Facebooking is also now a great way to not only keep in touch with friends, but to find dates and create relationships with new prospects. It’s getting more and more common now to spot a guy or girl that you find attractive on someone else’s friend list, and then add them as a friend and start communicating with them. It somehow seems safer or more comfortable starting a relationship up with someone if you feel like you know them through a connection, even if it’s a friend of a friend of a friend.
  • So my advice to you guys (and gals) is to NOT ignore this whole phenomenon that is digital & social media or stubbornly refuse to “give in” to it (as I see many rebellious guys do…). Its here and its everywhere, so you might as well just accept it, and start learning how to use it and be proficient at it! Get a Smart-phone and practice getting crafty with your text-messages and picture-messaging, and learn how to use your camera and video-chat. Because the main message here seems to be “Get savvy, or get passed up!”
Good luck out there, and let me know if you need any help! I’m always here for you : )
xo, DeAnna
DeAnna Lorraine is a San Diego Dating Coach and Dating expert

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DeAnnas Dating Blog Men's Dating Portal Uncategorized

Why Learning how to Approach Women is so Important!

Hello all my fabulous shy guys! I know so many of you who have approach anxiety on all different levels, and many of you who simply don’t feel comfortable and confident approaching girls, starting up a stimulating conversation and asking them out. Almost 100% of my male clients are in this position when they first start working with me, as is so much of the male population. And trust me, I understand your pain and frustration and I know it isn’t necessarily the easiest task to learn and master. I know we girls can seem scary sometimes (and some girls can downright give the rest of the female population a bad name due to their bitchy response!). But although I hate to be the bearer of bad news guys, I have to tell you that there really is no way around it. If you want to be successful with dating and attracting women, and you want to get MORE dates, with HIGHER quality women, and ultimately have a lasting relationship with an awesome, beautiful woman – Learning how to confidently approach and ask out women is the necessary first step that really has to be learned first. Check out my video below where I expand on this more, and see the bullet-pointers underneath. Feel free to share your comments!

  1. Women subconsciously see the initial approach as essentially a “test” to determine your strength and confidence as a Man. It is like your audition for a woman’s heart! Women innately want a strong (physically and mentally) and confident “Real” Man as a lover, so when you are the first one to walk up, open your mouth and start the conversation – you are at least getting our attention. And then if you’re able to confidently carry on the conversation and then ask us out, we know that takes “balls” so that puts you in the game so to speak! But if you’re all wishy-washy and weak about it and you try to rely on US to make the first move or be the one to suggest exchanging phone #s or something, that signals weakness & insecurity (aka “Low-Value Male”) and we don’t want to date you. Because if you don’t even have the cajones enough to make that tiny bit (as women see it) of initial effort to ask us out, then how the heck are you going to be strong enough to be our “rock” and be that strong man for us if we were to get in a relationship with you?? This is the opportunity to prove that you’re a High-Value, “Real” Man that will rock her world!
  1. Secondly, if you think APPROACHING takes guts and is difficult – wait till you get beyond the approaching and you really start dating a girl! Wait till you rally start liking and getting attached to a girl – because it gets a lot harder after that! She’ll chew you up and spit you out if you are so sensitive and take everything she does personally, you’re afraid to make moves on her and initiate things because you’re afraid of possible rejection or embarrassment, or you wait till she initiates everything first, and so on. That relationship is going to end fast. Putting yourself through the ringer so to speak and just learning how to successfully approach, converse and ask women out, has the side-benefit of helping you get over your fear of rejection and embarrassment, and helps you grow a stronger, thicker skin (more “balls” basically). Plus it helps develop your assertiveness and confidence around women, especially with taking the lead with them and initiating and progressing things. So if you try to skip this essential growth period, you’ll run into a lot of inevitable bumps and situations on your dates and beyond that you probably won’t know how to handle because you’ll be lacking the skills and intuition.
  1. And lastly, learning how to successfully Approach and ask out women is so essential because you’ll have so many more opportunities and options of women to choose from when you do! You won’t have to settle anymore for the “low-hanging fruit”or the girls you really aren’t that interested in but that were easy to get. You will have so much power and confidence knowing that you can walk into any place, any store, any bar, etc and whoever you think is hot or interesting, you can walk right up to her and talk to her, flirt and attract her through your conversation, and get her phone number!
  1. You’re never too old to learn this essential skill-set. If you feel like you’re painfully shy and you’re totally hopeless with women, I empathize with you completely & I know this is easier said than done. I know that this can be very difficult for a huge population of guys. (I’ve seen some of the most extreme cases of approach anxiety with men that have worked with me & I know the pain they go through). But believe me, it CAN be overcome, & these skills can be learned at any age. Start getting your hands on books or material to help you, get out there and practice, or if you’d like to work with me 1-on-1 to really get this area mastered for you, as this is a big focus with my men’s Date Coaching program (all of my male clients leave my coaching program with this skill-set developed), then feel free to request a free 30-minute Dating Strategy Session over the phone where we’ll discuss your situation together and explore coaching options.

Good luck out there & go get em! 🙂

xo, DeAnna

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DeAnnas Dating Blog Men's Dating Portal

How to Keep Marriage HOT! Tips for Reigniting the Fire.

How to Keep your Marriage HOT, Hot Hot!

With so many divorces and relationships breaking up left and right these days, it begs the question: Is it near impossible to have a relationship last and be successful, despite the odds? Is it realistic anymore to have a marriage that is exciting and blissful? And my answer to you is YES, it is possible to to have a relationship that lasts the tests of time. It does take some work, but I know it is possible. And one of the most important keys to maintaining a blissful, lasting marriage is keeping the relationship HOT and exciting; Both partners need to always be putting in effort to keep the fire burning! I believe that you can keep the spark going all the way into your 90s and it never has to die. Below I’ve listed some specific things you can and should do to reignite the passion and fire in your relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together. Start trying these today, and watch your connection reignite.


Tips for the GUYS:

1. SURPRISE her with spontaneous Trips, Activities, or Dates, Unexpected Flowers or Gifts. Sneak off with her places, ‘do the deed’ in different places besides just the bedroom, etc.

2. Integrate more ROMANCE & Foreplay, & start it early in the day! (Not just at the end of the night when you want to have sex, which is likely to have her just reject it). Ways to do this:

  • Send Sexy Texts & emails, and Picture-Texts throughout the day, creating sexual anticipation
  • Compliment her more frequently (Big one!). TELL your woman how hot she is, how sexy she is, what specific things she does that turns you on, and so on. If you make a woman FEEL sexy, then she’ll direct all that sexual energy towards who? Towards YOU! Compliment a woman more = Get a much Happier, Hornier woman. (‘Scuse my French 😉

3. Write her occasional Love letters, Poems or Songs: And mail them to her work. Describe reasons why you love her so much, why she makes such a great wife and/or mother, the things that you find sexy about her, etc.

4. Make sure you get in at least weekly Kissing & “Movie Make-Out” Time: So often couples get into a routine of just getting right into the sex, and barely ever actually kiss anymore. But Kissing creates a lot of intimacy & connection and makes a couple feel more bonded to each other.

5. Do Fun or Challenging Activities together: Such as taking up a Salsa dancing class, a Marathon, Skydiving, etc. Sharing an activity & learning something new together has a very strong bonding effect, and strengthens your sense of teamwork with each other, and triggers excitement again for each other.

*BONUS: Help your wife out more around the house & with chores! – Believe it or not, studies show that men who help out around the house more have much more sex with their wives, and their wives want it more!

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DeAnnas Dating Blog Men's Dating Portal

Free Teleseminar: The Fatal Mistakes Men make in Dating that keep them Single!

I want to personally invite you to a very special Teleseminar I am leading this month this Wednesday, October 26th at 12-1pm. The topic this month is on:

“The Fatal Mistakes Men make in Dating that Keep them from getting Married!

This is the first call in my exclusive free Teleseminar series that’s just for Men, “Secrets of Creating Chemistry & Attraction with High-Quality Women.”


Wouldn’t you like to be able to attract and keep the beautiful, quality women that you really want, rather than settle for those women you don’t really that attracted to but that are easier for you to get? Aren’t you sick of making fatal mistakes that land you in the “Friend Zone” with women and get you nowhere on your dates?

Here’s what we’ll go over in this information-packed Teleseminar!

  • The 5 Biggest Mistakes that Men make that cause them to fail with women
  • The Biggest pitfalls that smart, successful men make in their 20’s and 30’s that cause them to remain single & unable to find a marriage partner (you may already be doing these!)
  • The #1 Thing you are most likely doing in your interactions with women that are turning them OFF without you even realizing it.
  • The 3 Most Important Things you can do right now that will change the outcome of your love life & increase your odds of success!

In order to join the call, you must register HERE:

Then you will be sent the call-in #.

Again, here are the details:

When: Wednesday, October 26th, from 12-1pm PST

Where: Call-in (# will be sent to you after registering)

Why: Because you want to learn how to attract & succeed with amazing women!

Cost: No charge. This is my complimentary Teleseminar series

So if you are serious about becoming more successful with attracting and dating women and being the man that women find irresistible, then you should definitely join the call this month. It’s going to be a very special call that will have you setting the attraction wheels in motion!

Thanks, and I hope to “see” you on the call at noon on October 26th!

Your Dating Coach & Romance Resource,

DeAnna Lorraine

Register Now!
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If the above form is not working for some reason, you may also register by sending an email to Deanna@DeannaLorraine.com and include your name and phone #.

Deanna Lorraine is an internationally-recognized and San Diego Dating Coach

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