Is it few and far between when a guy approaches you or asks you out? You may not be doing your part enough as a woman. Follow these easy, proven strategies that I use with my female clients for multiplying your opportunities of men approaching you and asking you out.
Ladies – this Blog is for you. I see this problem all the time in my practice, and nearly all of my female clients who first come to me struggle with this issue at first (that is of course before I cure it ;). That is the problem of not getting asked out and not getting approached by guys. “I never get approached by guys,” they complain, or “Guys never ask me out.” Well, I ask them, what do are you DOING to get them to approach you or ask you out?” I ask. “Well…Nothing…. They just don’t come over,” is the common response. Well honey, I’ve got news for you – you need to understand that getting asked out is actually an ACTIVE process – it is not a passive process. You can’t just sit there and look pretty and do nothing and expect to be approached and asked out Missy. You have to actively “invite” guys to approach you and ask you out. How do you do that? There are a few things to keep in mind that I teach my clients, and these tricks multiply their opportunities often the first time they try them.
#1: Your Energy.
Check your energy before you walk out of the house and step into places like grocery stores, coffee shops, bars, and just walking around town. Are you walking around in a pissed off, negative or cynical mood? Do you get annoyed when guys come up and talk to you or are you walking around with a “F**k off, don’t talk to me” sign on your forehead? You may just be – often without even realizing it. If you are, it’s no surprise men aren’t approaching you. Men can smell this negative energy out like a rat. If you want to get approached and asked out more, your energy should be positive, confident and happy. Think of it as emitting pheromones. Your energy should scream “I love myself, I love men, and I love getting asked out!”
#2: Your Eye Contact:
When you see a guy from across the way that looks attractive, do you make eye contact with him? If a guy looks at you and checks you out, do you look back at him and smile, or do you look away or get all nervous? Well if you’re doing the latter, most men will take it as a signal that you’re not interested, and they’ll walk away, costing you lots of opportunities. Eye contact is a must when you want someone to approach you and ask you out.
Are you smiling a lot when you’re out and about, exuding happiness and friendliness… or do you have a scowl on your face or clam up when a guy talks to you? A smile flashed at a guy is like a green light to come hither. No smile – why would a guy risk his ego to muster up the courage to talk to a girl that isn’t smiling and isn’t making eye contact with him? He won’t. Smiling lures him in like bait on a line.
#4: Your Body Language:
When you’re out and about or you’re out at bars or other public venues, how are you standing and sitting? Are you standing with your arms folded, your body away from the crowd and pulled toward your friend or group of girls? Are you and your girls standing around in a circle like the Great Wall? When a guy talks to you, are you turning away from him, clamming up, looking away, etc.? If so then you deserve a spanking. You’re sending out the message loud and clear: “Don’t talk to me, Don’t touch me! Boys have cooties.” You need to send signals out that let him know on a subconscious level that you’re available and you’re interested – And that is done by you having warm and open body language, legs crossed toward him, body leaning toward him, and showing him that you’re comfortable with him. It’s what all animals do, and we are animals! Do you think if a peacock were to hide from a male peacock and turn away, act unavailable, and snarl at him, they would never get laid (ahem, reproduce), and alas, neither will women if they do that (or get dates/boyfriends/husbands).
So in sum, women if you want to multiply your dates and the number of men who approach you and ask you out, you need to do your part in actively attracting this and drawing men in. This is what I help my female clients master in the “Attraction Phase” of my women’s “Land the Man” Date Coaching program, along with other skills to turn them into bonafide Man Magnets.
DeAnna Lorraine is a San Diego Dating Coach