Q: Dear DeAnna,
How do I get guys to stop dumping me or ditching me for someone else? I’m 31, are guys ever going to grow up? Please help, I want to find someone to marry soon and it seems like every guy I’m interested in ends up ditching me.
A: Dear Catharine,
First of all, half your problem lies right there in your question. How do you stop “getting guys” to dump or ditch you? You are placing all the power–and the blame–in the guys’ hands. You need to realize that half the issue and responsibility actually lies in you. If this has happened to you two times or more, this is not a mere coincidence; you are either subconsciously or consciously choosing men who are unavailable, disrespectful, or who otherwise do not treat you how you deserve, you may be attracting those types of men with your behavior, or lastly, you may be doing something, or a number of things, to turn them off and cause them to run or lose interest. You’ve really got to take a hard look at where you are meeting these men, and what kinds of traits they all have in common. By isolating those common traits you can get a clearer picture of what kind of guy to stay away from in the future and what red flags to look out for. Then look within yourself. Are there are common patterns or behaviors, or things that you’ve done with all of these guys that may have led to them deciding to ditch you? Did you perhaps come on too strong, act jealous, needy or too available too soon? Did you sleep with them within the first 5 dates or did you wait until you were exclusive with them? These types of behaviors can all send men running. Put all these elements together and you should be able to figure it out. Good luck,