You know what most women don’t realize? Well for one, that men and women are DIFFERENT! Yes, surprise surprise – guys are different than us.
They are not just “hairier” versions of us women. Believe me, I grew up around a house full of brothers and all their rowdy friends, and boy do they think differently and talk differently than us gals!
It was sure a blessing in disguise though that I essentially got to be a fly on the wall in the boys’ locker room all my life, which I owe a lot of my ability to understand guys very intimately and attract them well.
And, teach women how to do that. So getting into just one specific area of how guys are different than women, are how they think about dates.
Guys go into dates, think about dates differently, and what they are thinking ON the date is usually quite different than what women are thinking too!
You must understand these differences to help you see the man’s perspective so you can be more successful with connecting with them and getting them to pursue you.
- #1. Guys are first thinking about SEX. Like it or hate it, they are first and foremost thinking, “Am I attracted to her? Do I want to have sex with her?” And beyond any thinking of thoughts even, they are FEELING something “down there,” or they’re not.
Sorry, but it’s the naked truth. No pun intended lol.
Boys will be boys. They are wired a certain way and have pieces of equipment, and it’s either going to go UP… or stay down and not respond.
They are firstly going with their “other” head, and following THAT head first. If they don’t’ even feel attracted to you (aka they want to have sex with you), then they won’t even bother seeing you again after a first date to see if anything else develops.
You must know that guys are attracted physically first, and you must make a guy feel sexually attracted to you, right from the first moment he sees you.
- #2: Guys are not typically thinking long-term… Yet. They are not planning for the future, imagining walking hand-in-hand with you, or even thinking much about next weekend yet. Guys are much more in the here-and-now, present moment than women are.
Aside from a feeling of sexual attraction to you, they are either feeling GOOD in your presence, or not good or neutral. They are either having FUN with you, and feeling comfortable with you, and genuinely enjoying being with you and talking to you…. Or they are feeling bored or uncomfortable.
Has the date been “easy” with her, meaning easy to talk to, you are open and responsive, and engaging? Or has the date been difficult – difficult to get engaging conversations going, difficult for you to warm up to him, etc.
Most girls do not realize this, and they mistakenly believe that the guy will take the time to get to know her, and give her a few dates, and see if she has the potential and qualities to be long-term girlfriend material. But this isn’t true.
If they aren’t FEELING good in your presence – aka, you’re not generating positive emotions in him, then he isn’t going to stick around to see if you have other “positive qualities” or a “great heart” or not.
Even though you logically may have good qualities, men don’t decide to commit to a girl or pursue her based on “logical” reasons. They are just pulled to keep seeing her based on their feelings. Or, not, if neutral or negative feelings were created.
A lot of women are BORING on their dates. They either don’t talk much, expecting to just show up and have the man “entertain” them and impress them, or the stuff they talk about is boring to guys and they’re not engaging to they guy in their body language and energy.
So, a guy leaves the date thinking, “Eh, she was nice. But she just had no “spark” about her. No “WOW factor.” Or, “I’m just not feeling it.” This is what guys say all the time.
She may very well be a physically attractive woman, or even have really great qualities on paper and be super intelligent with a great career or very kind, but if a man isn’t feeling it then he’s just not going to feel any desire to call and see you again.
Remember that now, even more so than before, there is so much competition now, unfortunately for us women. Because of new advances like Tinder and online dating sites, guys have so many options now, and you can bet that any guy you are talking to, is probably also talking to two or three other girls at the moment too.
So a girl who he didn’t feel 1) sexually attracted to and 2) an emotional spark or positive, excited feelings with, is not even going to be on his radar.
Aka, you’re not going to be on his thoughts during the day. And why should he make the effort to set up another day with you, and spend his money, if he isn’t feeling it? He’s not – he’s going to try another option.
And you know if you are in this space with a guy if he isn’t texting you or calling you. Or, if he isn’t setting up a next date within a week or two the latest.
A Good Rule of Thumb
If a guy is feeling it with a girl and attracted to her, he will be contacting her within 3 days of the date, max! And he will want to see her again as soon as possible. If a guy waits more than a week to see you again, and this is a common theme and his reason for waiting doesn’t have to do with traveling or emergencies, then he’s either just not that into you – or he’s got another woman and you’re the side-girl.
Sorry, but you’ve gotta hear the truth!
PSS: A few other Things Guys do:
- If guys are feeling bored on the date with you, or not feeling good enough about you to see potential with you, he may then try to just get you drunk and sleep with you that night. Because in a guy’s mind, he figures “Well if I’m not going to see her again anyways, I might as well at least get laid for the night.”
- So if a guy seems like he’s trying really hard to move quickly and take you back to his place or your place that night, this is what’s going on most likely. It does NOT mean he likes you though – For guys, they don’t have to “like” a girl in order to sleep with them. AND, he probably isn’t planning on calling you afterward either. So don’t fall for it!
**Want to discover the real reasons WHY men have not been committing to YOU, and what you can do about it to change your results with men? Do you want to know if men see you as “High Value,” marriage-material, or as a “Low-Value,” replaceable girl that they want to just string along? Find out now and learn what to do to break your pattern and start attracting amazing men who adore you and can’t wait to commit to you, by going through my proven 3-Step Dating Diagnostic & Love Makeover process today! Click below for full details & to begin.