Tag Archives: relationship coach

Blog DeAnnas Dating Blog

#ManCrushMonday tips: 2 Ways to be IRRESISTIBLE to Men!

Happy #ManCrushMonday! Ladies… what Man are you crushing on today? And why? It’s a great day to acknowledge the things you love about Men, and the men you love in your life. And if you’re single, make this your day to take action on attracting your man crush or a new crush and forward it into a relationship. Every Monday from today onwards I’ll be sharing some wisdom & quick strategies for you to help you attract and keep your Mr. Right, pronto.

And if you want further personal coaching on how to attract – and keep – your dream man, as a special gift to encourage your success with men, I am offering all of my Instant Man Advice coaching’ sessions and Psychic Love Readings at 50% OFF if you book them on Mondays. Just share one of my tips on Facebook or Twitter using hashtag #ManCrushMondays to share the love. Woohoo, Cheers to you and other amazing, love-worthy women around the world landing the epic relationship of your dreams!

And now, check out today’s video to learn 2 Easy Ways to make you Irresistible to Men.  And this is especially speaking to women who are successful, strong and fierce (like me), who sometimes wonder if they may be intimidating the men they want. 🙂 Go try these out with men this week, and let me know how it goes! 

*If you want to book a personal Coaching consultation with me (via Skype or phone) to discuss the current state of your love life and see if one of my proven coaching or matchmaking services will get you on the right track, submit this Dating Needs Assessment form, and we’ll schedule your call promptly!
DeAnna Lorraine xo

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The 411 on the Worldwide Epidemic of “Commitment-Phobes!”

pulling-hair-outDoes anyone want to commit these days?!

Have you felt like this woman in the picture before, after another prospect that you were excited about suddenly went MIA or fizzled out? I don’t know about you, but I’ve been finding in the last few years that the men (and women) these days have just been becoming more and more non-committal.

I thought at first that it was just an issue that was specific to San Diego (where I’m from), being that it is a huge tourist spot and melting pot of men and women who move there and find themselves on a constant “vacation mentality” mode of partying and casual hooking up.

But after working with more and more clients from different parts of the United States, the UK, Europe, Dubai and the U.A.E., and through much of my own traveling and dating experiences with men, I’ve realized that this is really a world-wide epidemic! I call it the “Commitment-phobic epidemic.” And it seems to be spreading exponentially among single men and women, everywhere.

And there’s another, related epidemic I’ve become aware of, which I call “The Grass is Greener Syndrome;” something I feel is largely the culprit for the Commitment Phobic epidemic. Basically, the fact that our society has become overwhelmed with “options” of people to date and be in relationships with.

Because of new technologies and the Internet, Online dating sites, Matchmaking and dating agencies, Facebook, etc., we have sooo may options now of potential partners, and the prospect of having just casual sex or hookups is right at our fingertips, and new options are constantly refreshing themselves as quickly as we can refresh our Internet browser.

It’s not longer good enough to just happen to meet a wonderful, kind person, who has great qualities, would make a suitable wife or husband, and who we are attracted to. Like how our parents and grand-parents did it back in the day. Now we meet a person like that and people think, “Wow they’re great! BUT… I wonder if I can find better out there… Hmmm, Let me go look and see what else is out there!”

It’s so messed up how we’ve become. And women, sadly, are really just as guilty of it as men are.

I’ve never in my life encountered so many little “relationships” that are short-lived, last a few weeks or a month or two, everything seems to be going great, and then it just fizzles out because someone loses interest or doesn’t end up wanting to commit to a “serious relationship.”

It is very frustrating to keep going through that over and over. And it can make even the most optimistic and hopeless romantic person start losing faith in true love. Even professional “dating experts” and Matchmakers are not safe from this epidemic. Myself included.

Peoples, it’s time to step up and commit! Do you really want to be a Playboy Bachelor or Bachelorette your whole life, dating hundreds of people or having countless hookups and nothing to show for it by the time you’re 80? No one person to actually share your life with, to experience real intimacy and depth with, and to create amazing memories and experiences with?

sex-and-the-city-post-it-noteDoesn’t dating and hooking up, hanging out at the bars or online dating sites all day trolling for women or men get boring after a while? It sure does for me.

Yes it is a risk to commit to someone, but you’re never going to know if that person is going to work out 100% because you have no crystal ball. But if you want the reward of true, lasting love and intimacy with a special person, isn’t it worth the “risk?”

If you keep trying to search for 100% perfection in a partner, all you’re going to get is 100% disappointment and loneliness. Because there is no perfect person. And you are not perfect either!

To illustrate this further, I have some incredible, high-quality, commitment-ready men who’ve hired me as their Matchmaker to help them find their future wife, and many of these men are over 40 years old with realistic criteria for their prospects, especially in terms of the woman’s age and looks. But sometimes it’s like pulling teeth to try to get a woman to just go out on a simple date with one of these great guys! And some of these woman are in their mid-40s, some of them never even married, and they are questioning me to death about “Is he good looking? Is he in good shape? Does he have a belly? (God forbid a man over 45 does not have a perfect 6-pack!)” And I’m thinking, REALLY?? You’re over 40, still single and never been married, and you’re going to be that picky over a man’s looks or other petty qualities and have me put so much effort trying to convince you just to go on a simple introduction??” It’s sheer madness!

I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news to you ladies but when you’re past your late 30s and still unmarried, you’re no spring chicken anymore and you’re options are much slimmer than they are when you were in your prime 20s. You should be ecstatic that a quality man might be interested in you and you should happily give these men a chance!

And then many of these women will often have me practically chase them down to try to get them to fit the date into their crazy busy schedule, sometimes putting it off for weeks because they are “too busy with work” or what not. REALLY?? You’re so busy with work and life that you can’t even fit a damn 1-hour coffee date a man who could potentially be your Soulmate into your schedule?? If thats the case then no wonder why you’re still single! If you want to be married, you’ve got to make some room in your schedule for dating and a relationship or you’re future will be the 60-year-old spinster cat-lady.

You SAY you want to be married, you say you want to find love, but your actions are totally out of alignment with someone who’s truly committed to finding their Soulmate. These woman are unknowingly pushing love away and single-handedly sabotaging themselves.

You really do have to commit to the process of finding love and make it a priority if you want to be in your dream relationship. And you really have to commit to someone in order to experience their true selves anyway, and all their sides and colors. Their goods and their bads, and all their layers. And you won’t get that before you commit to them because they’re going to be on their best behavior and not fully be themselves.

Having one foot in and one foot out is only going to get you mediocre knowledge about a person and about your potential for a relationship.

I’m tired of short-lived relationships that fizzle out. Are you??

DeAnna 🙂

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1 big Mistake Women make that Pushes Men away! (New Video)

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10 New Year’s Dating Resolutions YOU should make for 2013!

womens dating coach  Ah, It’s another New Year… Happy 2013! The New Year’s theme of personal growth and positive change is back around again. You may have done things this past year in your dating life that just didn’t work. You probably made some mistakes that you don’t want to repeat. But this year, decide to let THIS be the year you finally change and succeed! Based on lessons from clients and things I’ve found to be the biggest reasons for singles getting stuck in a dating rut and not finding success in their dating life, I’ve created a list of 10 essential resolutions for you to make in your dating life that if you truly stick to them and live out, will make a dramatic difference in your dating life and rapidly accelerate your search for finding and attracting The One. So make these resolutions this year; I want THIS to be the year that you fall in LOVE!

  1. Get ACTIVE. Put yourself OUT there. Stop making excuses for yourself to not truly put yourself out there. Just like anything that you’ve gotten in your life, getting the relationship you want or an active dating life takes you getting out of your house, going OUT there, and putting time, effort and commitment into it every week, a little bit a day. So starting NOW… like, TODAY (not tomorrow!), get off your butt – and head to places that put you in exposure to the opposite sex.
  1. Change your Mindset. Make Dating FUN! Stop focusing on all the lack of available men and opportunities there are and start focusing on all the abundance of great singles there are – and you’ll get more of it. Don’t dwell on how frustrating dating is or thinking of dating like some a chore and think of dating as a fun adventure, where anything can happen along the way. Relax and enjoy the journey, start doing things you enjoy and it will BE more enjoyable for you.
  1. Develop and execute a “Dating Strategy Plan” for attracting your ideal relationship. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Never is that saying more applicable – yet underused – than in your dating life. Would you start your own business without a Business Plan? Would you travel across the country without a Roadmap? What does YOUR Dating or  Relationship Attraction Plan look like?  Based on your requirements for what you’re looking for in a partner, map out specifically where you will go, what you will do and when you will go to find and meet people that fit those criteria. What groups or clubs or activities will you sign up for? What places, events or venues will you go to during the week, and when? Map it out, create an actual plan and schedule for your weeks, and print it out and hang it up where you will see it every day. Stay present to it daily. (*We create these personalized Relationship Attraction Plans as one of the first things we do in both my women’s 1-on-1 date coaching program and the Group Date Coaching program, and it is an important part of my proven recipe for finding your dream man). 
  1. Decide what you want, make a list, and stick to it! Stop dating blindly. Don’t waste more than 3 dates on people that don’t fit your criteria. At this point, if you’re serious about finding “The One,” and you’re sick of dilly-dallying around, you need to figure out exactly what you want – as well as what you don’t want. What are your “Must-Have” criteria and requirements? What are your “Deal-Breakers?” You need to have more than just a flimsy mental list, take some time and write them out and make a list of at least 10 of these non-negotiable criteria for what you must have and won’t settle for. Then make a commitment to use these lists as your barometer that you compare all your dates to. Find out if they meet those requirements within the first 3 dates, and do not continue dating them past 3 dates if they don’t – no matter how hot, rich, or sexy they are!
  1. Practice ASSERTIVENESS. How are you going to get what you want if you don’t know how to ask for it? Make a commitment to state your requests, stop expecting people to read your mind or instinctively know what you want. Ask for what you want – with people you’re dating, in the bedroom, and in life.
  1. If you want a great partner, BECOME a great partner. You can’t expect to find and attract someone who has all these qualities that you personally do not have. In order to find the perfect partner for you, you need to make sure you have all the qualities yourself that you’re looking for in a partner and are living the life that you want, or are actively working towards it.
  1. Be the “CHOOSER. Stop getting into relationships just because someone wants you really bad or aggressively pursues you. it can be very flattering when someone wants us and pursues us, but if you’re not really feeling them or they don’t meet your criteria, remember that you have the ultimate choice and YOU need to be the choose them. Just because someone chooses you doesn’t mean you have to choose them.
  1. Flirt shamelessly til the cows come home! If you want to rapidly open the floodgates and fill your pipeline up with a continuous flow of prospects, you need to master the art of flirting. Become a master at flirting, Flirt often and everywhere. Smile whenever you talk to people, make lots of eye contact and be playful and teasing!
  1. Master your First Impression. First impressions MATTER. Within the first 3 seconds of a new encounter…we are judged and evaluated, and you make an indelible impression. Depending on your physical appearance and attire, will either intrigue and attract someone, or turn them off. So if 3 seconds can determine your fate on a date, and can make or break your opportunity with someone…wouldn’t it make sense to do everything you can to control YOUR first impression, and make sure that it’s the best impression possible. You never know who you will meet and when, so dress like you’re about to meet the love of your life every date and put your best face forward. Don’t cut corners. Paying attention to the details of your first impression – like having a clean car, ironing your clothes, spritzing on fragrance or doing your make-up at home rather than rushing in the car on your way over there – will pay off.
  1. Stop settling for the “BTN” Guy. You know, the “Better Than Nothing” relationship. everyone gets lonely from time to time when they’re single, but stop getting into relationships or dating people that you know are below your criteria or aren’t right for you just because they’re better than being alone. It may seem like a short-term fix for you but its far worse in the long run and ends up wasting far more time and emotional energy, and it will cause you more pain than good.

Let me know how it goes, and good luck out there!

Cheers to a VERY prosperous 2013 in both life AND love! 🙂

Your Bonafide Dating Agent, DeAnna xo

DeAnna Lorraine is an internationally-recognized and san diego dating coach and dating expert.

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