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Blog DeAnnas Dating Blog

The 411 on the Worldwide Epidemic of “Commitment-Phobes!”

pulling-hair-outDoes anyone want to commit these days?!

Have you felt like this woman in the picture before, after another prospect that you were excited about suddenly went MIA or fizzled out? I don’t know about you, but I’ve been finding in the last few years that the men (and women) these days have just been becoming more and more non-committal.

I thought at first that it was just an issue that was specific to San Diego (where I’m from), being that it is a huge tourist spot and melting pot of men and women who move there and find themselves on a constant “vacation mentality” mode of partying and casual hooking up.

But after working with more and more clients from different parts of the United States, the UK, Europe, Dubai and the U.A.E., and through much of my own traveling and dating experiences with men, I’ve realized that this is really a world-wide epidemic! I call it the “Commitment-phobic epidemic.” And it seems to be spreading exponentially among single men and women, everywhere.

And there’s another, related epidemic I’ve become aware of, which I call “The Grass is Greener Syndrome;” something I feel is largely the culprit for the Commitment Phobic epidemic. Basically, the fact that our society has become overwhelmed with “options” of people to date and be in relationships with.

Because of new technologies and the Internet, Online dating sites, Matchmaking and dating agencies, Facebook, etc., we have sooo may options now of potential partners, and the prospect of having just casual sex or hookups is right at our fingertips, and new options are constantly refreshing themselves as quickly as we can refresh our Internet browser.

It’s not longer good enough to just happen to meet a wonderful, kind person, who has great qualities, would make a suitable wife or husband, and who we are attracted to. Like how our parents and grand-parents did it back in the day. Now we meet a person like that and people think, “Wow they’re great! BUT… I wonder if I can find better out there… Hmmm, Let me go look and see what else is out there!”

It’s so messed up how we’ve become. And women, sadly, are really just as guilty of it as men are.

I’ve never in my life encountered so many little “relationships” that are short-lived, last a few weeks or a month or two, everything seems to be going great, and then it just fizzles out because someone loses interest or doesn’t end up wanting to commit to a “serious relationship.”

It is very frustrating to keep going through that over and over. And it can make even the most optimistic and hopeless romantic person start losing faith in true love. Even professional “dating experts” and Matchmakers are not safe from this epidemic. Myself included.

Peoples, it’s time to step up and commit! Do you really want to be a Playboy Bachelor or Bachelorette your whole life, dating hundreds of people or having countless hookups and nothing to show for it by the time you’re 80? No one person to actually share your life with, to experience real intimacy and depth with, and to create amazing memories and experiences with?

sex-and-the-city-post-it-noteDoesn’t dating and hooking up, hanging out at the bars or online dating sites all day trolling for women or men get boring after a while? It sure does for me.

Yes it is a risk to commit to someone, but you’re never going to know if that person is going to work out 100% because you have no crystal ball. But if you want the reward of true, lasting love and intimacy with a special person, isn’t it worth the “risk?”

If you keep trying to search for 100% perfection in a partner, all you’re going to get is 100% disappointment and loneliness. Because there is no perfect person. And you are not perfect either!

To illustrate this further, I have some incredible, high-quality, commitment-ready men who’ve hired me as their Matchmaker to help them find their future wife, and many of these men are over 40 years old with realistic criteria for their prospects, especially in terms of the woman’s age and looks. But sometimes it’s like pulling teeth to try to get a woman to just go out on a simple date with one of these great guys! And some of these woman are in their mid-40s, some of them never even married, and they are questioning me to death about “Is he good looking? Is he in good shape? Does he have a belly? (God forbid a man over 45 does not have a perfect 6-pack!)” And I’m thinking, REALLY?? You’re over 40, still single and never been married, and you’re going to be that picky over a man’s looks or other petty qualities and have me put so much effort trying to convince you just to go on a simple introduction??” It’s sheer madness!

I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news to you ladies but when you’re past your late 30s and still unmarried, you’re no spring chicken anymore and you’re options are much slimmer than they are when you were in your prime 20s. You should be ecstatic that a quality man might be interested in you and you should happily give these men a chance!

And then many of these women will often have me practically chase them down to try to get them to fit the date into their crazy busy schedule, sometimes putting it off for weeks because they are “too busy with work” or what not. REALLY?? You’re so busy with work and life that you can’t even fit a damn 1-hour coffee date a man who could potentially be your Soulmate into your schedule?? If thats the case then no wonder why you’re still single! If you want to be married, you’ve got to make some room in your schedule for dating and a relationship or you’re future will be the 60-year-old spinster cat-lady.

You SAY you want to be married, you say you want to find love, but your actions are totally out of alignment with someone who’s truly committed to finding their Soulmate. These woman are unknowingly pushing love away and single-handedly sabotaging themselves.

You really do have to commit to the process of finding love and make it a priority if you want to be in your dream relationship. And you really have to commit to someone in order to experience their true selves anyway, and all their sides and colors. Their goods and their bads, and all their layers. And you won’t get that before you commit to them because they’re going to be on their best behavior and not fully be themselves.

Having one foot in and one foot out is only going to get you mediocre knowledge about a person and about your potential for a relationship.

I’m tired of short-lived relationships that fizzle out. Are you??

DeAnna 🙂

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Have you Registered for my women’s Dating Bootcamp yet? It’s time!

Are you frustrated with the status of your love life and the results you’ve been getting with dating?

Are you tired of being a Bridesmade at all your friends’ weddings and you’re ready to find YOUR Soulmate this year? And cuddle up in your dream man’s arms on Friday nights by the time the holidays are here?

Well what are you waiting for??

Get off your cute butt and enroll in my Women’s weekend dating Bootcamp today, in the city nearest you!

“Unleash your Inner MAN-MAGNET: Find, Attract & Marry your Mr. Right”

In just 1 amazing and transformative weekend, you will learn everything you need to learn about Dating and MEN and you’ll learn HOW to powerfully ATTRACT Men and make them fall in love with you, commit to you, and propose to you. You will literally transform your relationships with men forever.

My Weekend ‘Bootcamp’ tour will be starting in San Diego on August 2nd-4th, and then going to New York City, and then Dubai. (See the full dating Bootcamp Details, Video & Promises HERE)

And, this is the LAST week that you can register for the Bootcamp at the discounted rate – after this Friday you will pay the higher rate. So act now to save some money on your life-changing experience!

*Your Next Step: I will be setting up phone & Skype calls for the next few weeks so I can talk to you personally about your situation and your goals and answer any questions you have about the Bootcamp so you can feel confident in enrolling in it. Please fill out this brief contact request form online ASAP so you can set up a call with me about this, and I’ll get right back to you to schedule the call.

Right now I have blocked off the following days & times to take calls with you:

  • TODAY (Monday, 6/10):  Between 5:00pm – 7:00pm PST
  • TUESDAY 6/11:  Between 5pm – 7pm PST
  • THURSDAY 6/12: Between 12:00pm – 1:00pm
  • FRIDAY 6/14:  Between 9:00am – 1:00pm PST

Remember, There are LESS THAN 10 slots per Bootcamp, per location – this is a small and ‘intimate’ workshop because each participant gets highly personalized coaching and support from myself and my team so that everyone gets the breakthroughs and results that are promised. (This is not an ‘overnight’ workshop though.)

This is going to be a phenomenal weekend Bootcamp and we’re going to have a blast meeting lots of men & learning about them! I can’t wait to share this special weekend with those of you who are wise enough to attend, because your love lives will never be the same afterwards. Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Your Partner in Relationship Success,

DeAnna Lorraine

Dating class for women


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Are You Wearing “Man Repellent??”

Are you not getting a lot of second dates because guys aren’t calling you back?

Are you finding that the guys you like suddenly aren’t interested in you, and you have no idea why?

You may be wearing “Man Repellent” and you don’t even realize it! (See my full Video on this and Blog post for more details tips on this)

As a well-seasoned women’s Dating Coach I find that so many of my female clients wear this invisible Man Repellent, and the most repelling form that it comes in is when a woman projects an underlying current of negative, cynical energy.

Take a look at where this energy is coming from in your life: Have you had a string of bad dates recently? Are you letting your past experiences with guys bring you down, or generalize and write off all guys as either dumb, boring, players, or jerks?

Or is there something in another area of your life – maybe family or career – that’s spilling over and poisoning your love life?

Well ladies, the guys can only do so much. You need to look inside, find these sources of negative energy, and eliminate them!

Guys may be initially attracted to your looks, but the kind of quality man you deserve is not going to stick around if you’re taking away more of his positive energy than you’re adding. The kind of quality men I know want a woman who exudes a real POSITIVE energy and zest for life – one they can picture laughing with, taking on fun adventures, and who’s a real joy to treat well.

Do you want just any boyfriend, or do you want an amazing, REAL  man who’s going to make a damn-good husband??

Projecting negative energy, you might get a guy, but good luck keeping him if he knows his worth! Most likely he’ll likely be a shallow guy who doesn’t care if you’re happy, who’ll sit around and be no fun (or worse!), and you’ll be selling yourself way short with any relationship that might develop. I hope you believe in yourself, because any woman can learn to project the kind of fun feminine energy that attracts – and keeps – a quality man.

So ladies, flirt and be fun, and most importantly, have fun, and be positive, whether it’s online or in person. You attract what you put out, so if you want a positive man in your life, be warm and don’t be afraid to smile around him!

Good luck ladies, and let me know how it goes!

(*I coach my clients about this in much greater depth in my Women’s Date Coaching programs (1-on-1, Skype and Group Coaching) and in my Women’s “Become a modern MAN-MAGNET” 3-Day Dating & Attraction Bootcamp, coming up in the Summer! If you want to learn more, contact me today to schedule a 1-Hour free Dating Strategy Session’ over the phone so I can talk to you personally about your situation and your goals, and get you set up with the best coaching solution for you. )

~Your Partner in Dating Success,

DeAnna Lorraine xoxo

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Biggest Mistakes Women make when TEXTing & Calling Guys!

Do you ever get confused as to what how you’re supposed to go about Texting, calling or communicating with the men you’re dating?

Do you call? Do you text? Do you send a freakin’ telegram? What the heck do you do these days and what is going to garner the best response?

Well I deal with this all the time with my clients, especially lately as new forms of communication seems to keep popping up, so I recorded my Video this week to cover this exact query – “Biggest Mistakes WOMEN make when Texting & Calling Guys!” Watch the video on my Blog to get my whole scoop on that.

But here’s the summarized snapshot of my coaching on that:

While you don’t want to be TOO eager and be waiting by the phone for your new love interest’s call or text during the week and reply instantly all the time, you also don’t want to teach him bad habits either, ‘train’ him the wrong way, or turn him off unknowingly.

If a guy does call you during the week, you should call him back within a few hours, or no later than 24-hours the VERY latest. If you miss a guy’s call several times, and then you opt to reply to him by texting him instead, then you are teaching him to NOT call you from now on and that you want to be texted instead. So, he will forget about calling you after that. And that’s not really what we want now, is it ladies?

And if he texts you during the week, it’s important that you remember the following 3 things:

  • Pick up on the cues from him when he is trying to flirt with you, be sarcastic or playful. And PLAY along with him! Be flirtatious and warm when you text him back. Play back into his sarcasm or sassiness, and throw some cute sass back at him.
  • Do NOT be a cold fish when he texts you – Cold, dry, dull, and non-responsive to any playfulness or humor that he tries to throw at you. Do not be too ‘professional’ and formal in your texts – again, boring! Guys will lose interest quickly because they’ll conclude that YOU’RE not interested, or that you are just dull.
  • And don’t wait more than 12 hours, or 24-hours at the most to text him back. Don’t be ‘too busy.’ If you wait TOO long to text him back, all the time, he will start to give up because it’s just too much work chasing you. Let him be the man, and do his thing. When you are warm, friendly and responsive, he is able to have the confidence to try to move things along with you faster and start making plans for next dates, etc.

Make it a little easier on him to keep the connection going during the week, and be excited to make plans to see you again! (SEE full VIDEO & BLOG post here)

Good luck ladies, and let me know how it goes!

(*I coach my clients about this in much greater depth in my Women’s Date Coaching programs (1-on-1, Skype and Group Coaching) and in my Women’s “Become a modern MAN-MAGNET” 3-Day Dating & Attraction Bootcamp, coming up in the Summer! If you want to learn more, contact me today to schedule a 1-Hour free Dating Strategy Session’ over the phone so I can talk to you personally about your situation and your goals, and get you set up with the best coaching solution for you. )

~Your Partner in Dating Success,

DeAnna Lorraine xoxo

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