7 Things Women Do That Push Men Away: Navigating the Tug of War of Relationships

Are you committing this deadly dating sin that is sabotaging your ability to find your future husband? This is a trap that I see so many women fall into that I just had to talk to you frankly about it.

Workaholism is really a hidden form of procrastinating dating. You keep yourself so busy going after your career goals that you pretty much shut out dating & finding a relationship.

You SAY you want a relationship or marriage…. But you MAKE and keep yourself so darn busy that you don’t have any room in your life for even dating or finding a relationship! Or maybe you’re the kind that says, “I want a Relationship or marriage.. SOMEDAY… But I’ll be ready as soon as  I accomplish … THIS first…”

“As soon as I… Become Partner… Break into the triple digits… Get my business thriving… etc.”

But then, years will quickly pass when you do this, and many great available men will slip by you.. And by the time you finally wake up and tell the world, “Ok, NOW I’m ready to start dating! Come get ’em, hot men!”

You may be past your prime and you’ll be unpleasantly surprised that all the great men that you thought would suddenly be knocking at your door for you now that you’re ready, are actually not.

In the wild world of dating and relationships, it can be hard to know what behaviors push men away. In this article, we’ll look at seven common mistakes women make that can unintentionally push a man away, leaving you wondering why your relationship went down the wrong path. I’ll talk about each of these mistakes, why it can cause a problem, and offer alternative approaches to help you maintain a strong relationship. If you’re wondering why men are losing interest or pulling away from you, you should definitely read this article.

1.Becoming the Girlfriend too Soon

It’s not uncommon for a woman to feel like she’s in a relationship with a man sooner than he does. You may be fully invested in the relationship, acting like his girlfriend without the title.  This situation is quite common, as people can have different timelines for when they feel ready to commit to a relationship and use labels such as “girlfriend” or “boyfriend.” It is possible for one person to feel more invested and emotionally connected earlier than the other. It is important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings and expectations to ensure both parties are on the same page. This can be one of the biggest mistakes women make that push men away. A man may feel pressured and pull back right away, losing interest. Instead, take things slow. Enjoy the beginning of the relationship without rushing to define it.

2.Overwhelming Him with Negativity – the First Mistakes Women Make that Push Men Around

One common mistake that can turn this desirable environment on its head is the continuous cycle of complaints and dissatisfaction. These elements can significantly impact the quality of the relationship and even drive men away. While it’s crucial to communicate openly in a relationship and express feelings sincerely, it’s also necessary to manage how these feelings are conveyed.

Expression is not the problem, but the method of communication can make all the difference. It’s natural to have moments of frustration, disappointment, or dissatisfaction. However, if these negative emotions start to dominate the interaction with your partner, it can become a breeding ground for resentment and dissatisfaction. As a result, the man might feel constantly criticized or unappreciated, which can lead to him distancing himself from the relationship.

Maintaining a positive and optimistic outlook is essential in managing these challenging situations. This doesn’t mean hiding your feelings or ignoring issues that need to be addressed. Rather, it means addressing concerns in a positive, constructive manner. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, consider discussing how things can be improved. Look for solutions rather than dwelling on problems. Positivity is infectious, and maintaining an optimistic attitude can go a long way in fostering a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

Lastly, it’s essential to understand that while your man is your partner, he’s not an outlet for venting all your frustrations. Everyone has their own battles to fight, and using your significant other as an emotional punching bag can be overwhelming for them. This behavior can push them away, as it could create a hostile environment rather than a nurturing one. Instead, aim to create a balance where both of you can share your concerns and frustrations, but also offer support and solutions to each other.

3.Constantly Nagging and Criticizing – It’s the  First Step to Losing Interest.

Many women push men away through persistent nagging and criticism. While it’s important to communicate what you want in a relationship, nagging can make a man feel unappreciated and devalued. Try to express your needs and concerns in a constructive, respectful manner, focusing on the behavior and not the man himself. 

We cannot underscore enough the importance of effective communication in a relationship. However, there’s a fine line between clear communication and continuous nagging that many women, unfortunately, cross unknowingly. This persistent nagging can slowly erode a man’s interest, pushing him away over time.

Nagging can make a man feel incessantly hounded and often leads to him feeling unappreciated or devalued. It sends out a message that whatever he’s doing isn’t enough or is inadequate, which is hardly the recipe for a healthy, thriving relationship.

4.Not Appreciating Him

Appreciation – a simple act of acknowledging someone’s efforts or qualities – plays a fundamental role in any relationship. When it is lacking, it may lead to feelings of being undervalued and unwanted. 

Everyone, regardless of gender, desires to feel valued and appreciated. It’s a universal human need that helps validate our efforts and reinforces our self-worth. Men are no different. If a man doesn’t feel recognized for his contributions to the relationship, it can create a void, causing him to distance himself or even push you away.

Appreciation doesn’t have to come in grand gestures or expensive gifts. It lies in the subtleties of everyday interactions. Acknowledging the little things he does, expressing how he makes you feel, or appreciating his efforts to maintain the strength and vitality of the relationship can significantly contribute to a nourishing and fulfilling partnership.

It’s about creating an environment where your man feels seen, heard, and valued. Show your gratitude sincerely and frequently. This can go a long way in fostering a robust, loving relationship and warding off the chances of him drifting away due to feelings of being unappreciated.

Appreciation: The Glue that Holds Relationships Together

Studies have suggested that appreciation and gratitude are some of the key elements that lead to long-lasting relationships. It acts as a bonding agent, bridging the gap between two individuals and strengthening their connection. When a man feels appreciated, it reassures him of his partner’s affection and respect, thereby encouraging him to invest more in the relationship.

Conversely, the absence of appreciation can make a man question his place and value in the relationship. If he perceives that his efforts are unnoticed or unvalued, it can lead to feelings of resentment, creating a rift in the relationship.

5.Trying to Change Him – Repels Men

One of the most complex dynamics in any relationship is understanding and accepting our partner for who they are. And yet, it is often the case that we fall into the trap of wanting to change the person we’re with. This is particularly common among women, who, moved by love or concern, might think they’re doing the best for their relationship. However, this is considered one of the biggest mistakes women make that pushes men away, often silently and subtly.

The Illusion of Change

The desire to change our partner often comes from a place of love. We want the best for them, for us, and for the relationship. But there’s a fallacy that’s often overlooked: people only change when they choose to, not when they’re forced to. Attempting to alter someone’s nature or habits, especially when they don’t see a problem, can lead to resentment and create a barrier in the relationship.

Acceptance and Communication

Recognizing and accepting these mistakes is the first step to overcoming the problems that may push a man away. It’s a bit like having an “ex” in the room – these issues from your past relationships can linger and subtly influence your present ones. It’s crucial to be aware of this and actively work on preventing these patterns from repeating.

In every relationship, it’s essential to remember a popular quote: “The best way into someone’s heart is to be yourself.” If you’re pushy or trying too hard to mould the man that you’re with into someone he’s not, you might be pushing him away instead of drawing him closer. It’s better to appreciate him as he is, rather than pushing him to change into the ideal man you have envisioned.

As the saying goes, “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” Therefore, rather than being pushy and demanding changes, expressing your needs and desires in a positive and understanding manner is more likely to foster the changes you want.

Many women feel like he’s their ideal partner and then get frustrated when he doesn’t commit in the way they want. If you’re constantly pushing for a commitment, the pressure might make a man feel cornered, which can push him away.

On the other hand, when you act like you’re his partner without demanding a label, it can create a space where the relationship can evolve naturally. It doesn’t mean being complacent about what you want, but rather understanding that commitment can’t be forced. If he feels like he’s being pushed into something he doesn’t want or isn’t ready for, it might drive him away.

6.Relying on Him for Happiness

One common yet critical mistake that women make in relationships is looking to their man for their source of happiness. This approach can not only set you up for potential disappointment but also put unnecessary pressure on the man in your life, which could end up pushing him away. Let’s explore why it’s so essential to cultivate your own happiness and not rely on someone else for it.

The Happiness Quandary

Hence, one of the key mistakes that push men away is becoming over-dependent on your partner for happiness. When you’re in a relationship, it’s essential to maintain your own identity, hobbies, and sources of joy.

Imagine walking in the shoes of someone who’s bearing the responsibility of not just their happiness but their partner’s as well. The constant pressure of needing to perform and deliver joy can be overwhelming, to the point where they might feel pushed away rather than pulled in.

As women, we need to remember to nurture our own love life, independent of our partner. Engaging in activities we love, spending time with friends, and pursuing personal goals can help maintain a healthy balance in a relationship.

Avoid making the mistake of turning your partner into your sole source of happiness. It’s an unfair expectation to set and, ironically, a sure way to push them away. In the journey of love, it’s vital to share the walk of happiness rather than foisting the responsibility onto the other person.

7.The Power of Self-Happiness

The reality is, happiness that’s solely dependent on another person is usually fleeting and fragile. To build a lasting and fulfilling relationship, it’s important to cultivate your own happiness outside of your relationship.

Strong women, the ones who truly understand the dynamics of a satisfying relationship, don’t hinge their entire existence on their partners. They see a man as a partner, a companion, an equal – not as a source of their happiness or fulfillment.

Investing in Your Personal Growth: Making Him Want You More

It may seem counterintuitive, but one of the best pieces of relationship advice is to invest in yourself. A woman who is content, self-assured, and pursuing her own passions becomes incredibly attractive to a man. Why is that?

Well, when you’re happy and fulfilled on your own, you radiate a positive energy that people, especially romantic partners, are drawn to. You make him want you more because you’re leading an enriching life that extends beyond the relationship.

Avoid Sabotaging the Relationship: The Importance of Appreciation

We all want to be appreciated, especially by those closest to us. But often, in the process of wanting to be appreciated, we forget to show appreciation ourselves. This can inadvertently sabotage relationships.

Remember the beginning of a relationship, when every little thing about the other person was fascinating, and you made it a point to show your appreciation? It’s crucial not to let that habit slip away. Continually express your gratitude and appreciation to your man – for the way he makes you feel, for the things he does for you, and for simply being himself.

Creating a Feel-Good Atmosphere: The Key to a Healthy Relationship

Creating a feel-good atmosphere is essential in any relationship. Everyone, including men, wants to be around someone who makes them feel good. Negative emotions, criticisms, and constant bickering can drive him away, while positivity, support, and appreciation can make him want to spend more time around you.

Key Takeaways

• Depending solely on a man for your happiness can create unnecessary pressure, potentially pushing him away.
• Cultivate your own happiness by pursuing your passions, setting personal goals, and investing in self-care.
• Be a strong woman who knows what she wants and doesn’t need a man to complete her.
• Enjoy the love and companionship of your man, but don’t make him the sole source of your happiness.

What to Do When a Man Pulls Away

When a man pulls away, it can be disconcerting, leaving you unsure of how to react. It’s essential not to panic or jump to conclusions. Instead, approach the situation with patience and understanding. Remember, just as a light switch can’t be flicked on and off without consequence, relationship dynamics too, require careful handling.

If the retreat is a response to a particular event or misunderstanding, open communication is key. Express your concerns without casting blame or criticism. Understanding how your guy feels about the situation can pave the way for constructive conversation, which in turn could strengthen the connection between you two.

Be mindful that everyone wants to feel worthy of love and appreciated for who they are. Men love to be acknowledged and respected for their individuality. Attempting to change someone or forcing commitment can cause them to retreat further.

In some instances, your man pulling away could signal the start of a new chapter in his life, perhaps involving someone new. While it’s painful to consider, it’s crucial to respect his choice and his right to disengage.

How to Keep a Guy’s Interest

Keep a guy’s interest by being your authentic self. Show him that you’re capable of being happy and fulfilled on your own. Be appreciative and make him feel valued. Keep things exciting by trying new activities together, which can foster a deeper connection.

Key findings

• Understanding His Need for Space. One of the most critical things to remember when a man pulls away is not to panic. Yes, it is easier said than done, especially when feelings of rejection or abandonment might be simmering. 
• Communication is Key. During such times, the instinct might be to pursue, question, or demand answers. But it’s crucial to approach the situation with sensitivity. Instead of blaming or criticizing, strive for open and non-judgemental communication. 
• Giving Him the Space He Needs. In the end, it’s all about striking a balance. Be supportive and show that you’re there for him, but avoid smothering him or making him feel trapped. Each relationship has its ebbs and flows, and understanding this can help navigate these challenges.

Nurturing a Lasting Relationship – Like You’re His Girlfriend

And so, we need to realize that the process of developing these elements in a relationship is an ongoing journey, not a one-time event. Try the following techniques

Mutual Respect: The Heart of Every Relationship

You might have heard the phrase “treat others the way you want to be treated.” It may seem like men and women speak different love languages, but at the core of every relationship, mutual respect is essential. Here’s how this crucial element can make or break a relationship.

When you’re walking the path of love, understanding that each partner has unique needs is crucial. Women, in particular, need to feel respected and valued. Respect means acknowledging her thoughts, opinions, and decisions even when you may not fully agree.

A common mistake women make that can push men away is trying to change them. You might not agree with his love for football, or his penchant for rock music, but trying to mold him into your ideal partner can cause more harm than good. It’s important to accept him for who he is, with all his quirks and peculiarities. Trying to change someone is not only disrespectful but also a surefire way to push him away.

Another aspect to keep in mind is that some men might not want to commit right away. Pressuring him into making a commitment before he’s ready can cause him to disengage from the relationship. It’s like flipping a light switch off. Remember, everyone moves at their own pace when it comes to love and commitment.

At times, it may feel like you’re walking on eggshells, but it’s crucial to communicate openly about these topics. Discussing these issues can clear misunderstandings and avoid causing a man to feel pushed away without intending to.

Trust: The Lifeline of Companionship

Trust, in any kind of relationship, is like a light switch that illuminates the path to deeper connection. It’s what women need and men desire; it provides security, promotes intimacy, and makes vulnerability safe. Trust is constructed over time, fortified with honesty, and tested through actions.

When trust is present, you’re like a lighthouse in your partner’s world, guiding them with your reliable character. Not wanting to commit might be a sign of a lack of trust. As the saying goes, “trust is earned in drops but lost in buckets.” This underlines the importance of consistency in building trust – one small act at a time, like drops filling a bucket.

Unfortunately, some women unknowingly sabotage their relationships by not trusting their partners. In an effort to ‘get someone’ or secure a relationship, they may engage in actions that push men away. These actions might include excessive control, constant suspicion, or creating unnecessary drama – all signs of distrust that can cause men to disengage.

Understanding this dynamic is crucial for the relationship you want. Love and connection flourish in an atmosphere of trust. When a woman shows trust in her man, it makes him feel appreciated, leading to a stronger bond.

Sometimes, trust can seem like a daunting topic, like a towering mountain one needs to climb. However, it’s essential to know that establishing trust is an ongoing process, not a one-time event. It’s about continuously showing up for your partner, keeping your promises, and being there for them in times of need.

Open Communication: The Bridge Connecting Hearts

Communication serves as a bridge between you and your partner, connecting not just your worlds, but your hearts. Honest and clear communication is vital in a great relationship. It’s about being open with your expectations and desires and expressing them in a way that your partner understands. This includes everything from your life goals, to your views on finances, to your preferences in the bedroom.

But open communication is not just about speaking; it’s also about listening. It’s about truly hearing what your partner has to say and understanding their feelings, fears, and dreams. The goal should be not just to reply, but to understand. Remember, conversations are not competitions to be won; they are bridges to deeper understanding and intimacy.

Fostering a Judgment-Free Zone

Many women unintentionally push men away when they project their insecurities or past experiences onto their current relationships. If a man feels like he’s being constantly judged or measured against an unattainable ideal, he might feel like he doesn’t want to commit because he’s not being appreciated for who he is.

Creating a judgment-free zone involves accepting a man for his individuality. This acceptance can make a woman seem more understanding and compassionate, thus encouraging the man to lower his defenses and form a deeper connection.

Away and Cause: The Fear of Disengagement

Another common mistake that women make is acting out of fear. Fear can drive a woman to become clingy or possessive, actions that push men away and cause unnecessary friction in the relationship. Men, like anyone else, value their freedom and personal space. When they feel that this is being encroached upon, they may want to disengage from the relationship.

Knowing How to Get Someone’s Love

A relationship is not about trying to get someone to love you by being someone you’re not. Genuine love arises when you are your authentic self. A common mistake many women make that push men away is pretending to be someone they’re not, thinking that this is what the man wants. However, this is usually counterproductive as men appreciate authenticity and honesty.

Knowing Someone and Understanding Love

Love can’t be forced. It’s an emotion that arises naturally as you get to know someone on a deep, personal level. Some women make the mistake of rushing the process, trying to extract declarations of love before a man is ready. This can push men away as it puts unnecessary pressure on them.

Love should be allowed to grow and develop naturally, at a pace comfortable for both parties. In conclusion, understanding and avoiding these common mistakes can help you foster a healthy, loving relationship that stands the test of time.

Key Takeaways

• Becoming the girlfriend too soon: Take your time and enjoy the beginning stages of a relationship without rushing to define it.
• Overwhelming him with negativity: Try to maintain a positive attitude and avoid venting all your frustrations on your man.
• Constantly nagging and criticizing: Express your needs and concerns in a respectful and constructive manner.
• Not appreciating him: Show gratitude for the little things he does, and how he makes you feel.
• Trying to change him: Accept your man for who he is and avoid trying to change his fundamental characteristics.
• Relying on him for happiness: Cultivate your own happiness and well-being outside the relationship.
• Neglecting your own life: Keep up with your hobbies, friends, and passions. A relationship should complement your life, not consume it.
• Keeping a guy’s interest: Be yourself, show your happiness and fulfillment, appreciate and value him, and keep the relationship exciting by trying new activities.
• Nurturing a lasting relationship: Maintain mutual respect, trust, and open communication. Be clear about your expectations and desires, and foster an open, judgment-free environment.

My conclusions

Don’t fall into the trap I commonly see of thinking that you can’t have both – a thriving career AND a thriving love life… You can have it ALL! You are amazingly powerful. You’ve just got to start making love a priority.. And start NOW. You must start carving out some time during your week for “me” time – your time to focus on your well-being, and especially, on meeting me, dating, and finding your future Husband.

So go get your cute ambitious butts out there ladies, and let me be your partner in empowering you to do that if you need some help! I always set my Workaholic women clients straight ; )

With Love, DeAnna datingcoachdeanna.com! ❤️