How Digital Media Has Affected Dating – And The New Rules To Adopt

BEFORE social & Digital media, guys were programmed to wait out the whole “3-Day Rule” before calling a girl after a date or after getting her phone #. Otherwise, they were perceived to look desperate. But today’s “Digital Society” has turned the dating world upside down, and a lot of these former dating rules are quickly changing. Now, if a guy waits 3 or 4 days to contact a girl after a date or getting her #… It may be too late!

• It’s now appropriate for a man to actually send a text the night OF the date after it’s over just to “Make sure she got home safe,” or the next day to let her know he had a great time & start up another conversation. In stark contrast to what the OLD dating rules  used to call a move like this “desperate” or too eager, this kind of quick follow-up is not seen as “desperate” anymore – In fact more and more it’s actually desired by women.
• New forms of Digital Media like Texting, Picture-Messaging, and Video-Chatting have created a more COMPETITIVE dating scene as well, especially among the guys! They have given men and women new tools to help them keep the connection alive in-between dates, so guys who learn how to use these communication methods now have a leg-up over other people who aren’t so tech-savvy and don’t choose to use them or learn how. Now it’s the guys that still wait the whole “3-Day-Rule” and not much communication in-between that are ending up losing the girl to the guys who are texting in-between! Given that the trend in today’s dating world is for people to dating multiple people for a while before committing to one (it’s quite common these days for a girl to go on as many as 3 or 4 dates in one week), the power of the “connection” you have with someone is going to be a very strong determining factor as to whether you want to keep dating them or not.

• To elaborate a bit, Think about this scenario – Let’s say you’re a great guy and you had a date with Sara on Saturday; you had a great time and you made plans with her already for a 2nd date for this coming weekend. Since the date is already confirmed, you figure you’re in the clear and you just go about the rest of the week looking forward to the date and assume she’ll be doing the same, not feeling the need to communicate much else in-between then. But let’s say Sara had a date with another guy on Sunday night; her date also went great, but this guy had been keeping in touch with her all week long, exchanging flirty texts, getting into some funny conversations that made her laugh, maybe sending her a few picture messages that were thoughtful based on their conversations on the date or that were thought-provoking. 
• Now this guy has been on her mind all week long and she is developing a strong bond with him, feeling a stronger connection with him and meanwhile she hasn’t heard from you at all. By the time she gets to your date on the weekend she’ll be feeling much closer to this other guy and will likely have lost a lot of the enthusiasm to see YOU! (This is one explanation why some girls may flake on a 2nd or 3rd date or suddenly try to reschedule). And all the while you’re scratching your head thinking “What the heck happened, I thought we had a connection?” having no idea that some other dude is beating you out of the running because he’s establishing a stronger connection to her in-between dates. 
• So, those guys or gals who are taking advantage of texting, video and picture messaging are more likely to become the front-runners if a girl has other guys she’s dating, and these guys tend to be the ones that build the strongest connections with girls.
• Facebooking is also now a great way to not only keep in touch with friends, but to find dates and create relationships with new prospects. It’s getting more and more common now to spot a guy or girl that you find attractive on someone else’s friend list, and then add them as a friend and start communicating with them. It somehow seems safer or more comfortable starting a relationship up with someone if you feel like you know them through a connection, even if it’s a friend of a friend of a friend.
• So my advice to you guys (and gals) is to NOT ignore this whole phenomenon that is digital & social media or stubbornly refuse to “give in” to it (as I see many rebellious guys do…). Its here and its everywhere, so you might as well just accept it, and start learning how to use it and be proficient at it! Get a Smart-phone and practice getting crafty with your text-messages and picture-messaging, and learn how to use your camera and video-chat. Because the main message here seems to be “Get savvy, or get passed up!”

How Has Dating Changed? The Impact of Social Media on Relationships

The integration of social media and dating has created a new landscape for romance, with both positive and negative implications. Here’s a closer look at how social media effects on relationships have shaped the way we connect, love, and communicate.

1. Social Dating: A New Norm

Social dating has become a prevalent phenomenon, with platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and various dating apps facilitating connections between people. These platforms allow individuals to meet and interact in a virtual space, often leading to real-life relationships. Social dating has made it easier to connect with people from different backgrounds and locations, broadening the dating pool.

2. Dating and Social Media: A Double-Edged Sword

While social media has made it easier to meet potential partners, it has also introduced new challenges. The intersection of dating and social media has led to concerns about privacy, authenticity, and the pressure to present oneself in a particular way. The curated images and profiles may not always reflect reality, leading to potential misunderstandings and disappointments.

3. Social Media Effect on Relationships: Communication Dynamics

Social media’s effect on relationships extends to how couples communicate. Instant messaging, video calls, and social media posts have become standard ways of expressing affection and maintaining contact. While this has enhanced connectivity, it has also raised questions about the depth and quality of communication.

40% of partnered adults say they are bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on their cellphone

www.pewresearch.org

4. The Influence of Social Media on Dating Expectations

The portrayal of relationships on social media platforms can influence people’s expectations and ideals about love and partnership. These often-romanticized depictions can lead to unrealistic expectations, potentially causing dissatisfaction in real-life relationships.

5. Social Media and Dating: Navigating Challenges

With the recognition that social media and dating are intertwined, individuals and couples must navigate this landscape with awareness and intentionality. Open communication, honesty, and setting boundaries around social media use can mitigate some of the potential pitfalls.

The Positive Impact of Social Media on Relationships: A New Era of Connection

While there are concerns about the potential negative effects, it’s essential to recognize the positive social media impacts on relationships. Here’s how social networking and dating have been enhanced by digital platforms:

1. Enhanced Communication and Connectivity

One of the most significant ways digital media affected your relationships is through enhanced communication. Social media platforms allow us to stay connected with friends, family, and romantic partners, regardless of distance. This constant connectivity fosters a sense of closeness and community that might not be possible otherwise.

2. Social Networking and Dating: Expanding Opportunities

Social networking and dating have become intertwined, with platforms like Facebook, Tinder, and others facilitating connections between like-minded individuals. These platforms have expanded the opportunities for meeting potential partners, especially for those who might have limited options in their immediate social circles.

3. Strengthening Long-Distance Relationships

Digital media has been a boon for long-distance relationships. Through video calls, instant messaging, and social media updates, couples can maintain intimacy and connection even when miles apart. This has made long-distance dating and relationships more feasible and satisfying.

However, the advent of digital media has revolutionized the way couples can connect, even when separated by vast distances. Here’s how:

• Frequent Communication: Digital media offers various ways to stay in touch, from video calls and instant messaging to social media updates. This constant communication helps maintain a sense of closeness and intimacy, even when physically apart.
• Visual Connection: Video calls, in particular, allow couples to see each other, making conversations more personal and engaging. This visual connection can make the distance feel less daunting and keep the relationship vibrant.
• Shared Experiences: Through social media, couples can share aspects of their daily lives, from photos and videos to thoughts and feelings. These shared experiences help create a sense of participation in each other’s lives, fostering a deeper connection.
• Flexibility: Digital media provides flexibility in communication, allowing couples to connect at times that suit them best. Whether it’s a quick text during the day or a lengthy video call at night, couples can find ways to make their schedules align.
• Emotional Support: Long-distance relationships often require extra emotional support, and digital media facilitates this. Whether it’s a loving message, a shared joke, or a virtual hug, couples can provide reassurance and affection through various digital means.
• Cost-Effective: Traditional long-distance communication, such as international phone calls, could be expensive. Digital media, often requiring only an internet connection, has made long-distance communication more accessible and affordable.

4. Shared Interests and Communities

Social media platforms allow individuals to find and join communities centered around shared interests or hobbies. This not only fosters friendships but can also lead to romantic connections. Finding someone who shares your passions can lay the foundation for a deeper connection in dating and relationships.

5. Celebrating Milestones and Achievements

Social media provides a space to celebrate milestones and achievements within relationships. Whether it’s an anniversary, engagement, or simply a cherished moment, sharing these on social media can reinforce the bond between partners and allow friends and family to participate in the joy.

6. Transparency and Authenticity

While social media is often criticized for encouraging superficiality and curated personas, it can also serve as a platform for authenticity and transparency. This dual nature of social media has significant implications for both friendships and romantic relationships:

Authenticity and Transparency

• Personal Expression: Social media allows individuals to express their thoughts, feelings, and experiences openly. When used with sincerity, it can be a space to share genuine emotions and insights.
• Building Trust: Open and honest communication on social media can foster trust within relationships. By being transparent about one’s life, interests, and feelings, individuals can create a deeper connection with friends and romantic partners.
• Support and Understanding: Social media enables friends and partners to offer support and understanding. Whether it’s a challenging life event or a joyful celebration, social media can be a place to find empathy and encouragement.

Navigating Challenges

• Avoiding Superficiality: The challenge lies in avoiding the trap of curating an idealized online persona. Authenticity requires honesty and vulnerability, which can be difficult in a space where many are striving to present a perfect image.
• Privacy Considerations: Balancing openness with privacy is essential. While transparency can enhance relationships, oversharing or violating a partner’s privacy can lead to conflict.
• Digital Etiquette: Understanding and respecting each other’s preferences and boundaries on social media is vital. Open dialogue about what is acceptable to share and how to engage online can prevent misunderstandings.

Good luck out there, and let me know if you need any help! I’m always here for you : )

xo, DeAnna 🙂 datingcoachdeanna.com